Goodbye my lover...

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

The first time I saw her, I did not know how to feel. There was this emptiness which manifested itself and as soon as I realized that it was there, it was quenched by her. Those days, I spent all my waking hours with her. I was always physically drained but forever mentally charged. Ready for her. I felt her and knew she felt me too. It was one of those miraculous events that change your life. She was. She was beautiful.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

The second time was different. It was a more intellectual interaction. Not many people get to feel what I did. Don’t mistake me; I had the time of my life. It was brilliant. Perhaps not comprehendible by everyone; not enjoyable by all. But our relationship showed shades of reaching places I had never been before. But as before, as fast as our meeting began, it had to end. I didn’t want it to. But it had to. I was left with a bittersweet taste in my mouth, not knowing whether I wanted more or whether I should move away before I gave in too much.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

This time around I couldn’t sit around for just cerebral communications. I had grown weary in her absence. Life was forever changing. Swirling whirlpools in the endless waterfall of time. She didn’t disappoint me this time. She opened my eyes to so many things. Some things which I now have grown to regret but mostly things for which I will forever be grateful. She was responsible for some of the strongest bridges that I have built in my life, bonds that I can never forget. She taught me how to make decisions, how to set priorities, how to know what is right and what is not, how to appreciate beauty, how to be happy for the simple pleasures in life. Taught me to realize the wonder that is life. And for that I can never repay her.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

It was inevitable. The journey, even before it announced its departure, had sounded its arrival. There was no way one could avoid that which is a certainty. Tautological. I probably neglected her in the light of this. I should perhaps have not. I did not have it in me to have her in my arms one more time knowing fully well that it would be the last time I could. That would be far too painful. For the both of us. Anyways, she seemed different. Or maybe it was me. Too complicated the situation was. And finally there was the moment I was dreading, the moment when you get to say good bye. You hope to part ways on a high. But alas, that did not happen. Just after though, I did have a fleeting thought of her. I wanted to shed a tear for all the memories we had had. I tried. I couldn’t.

Thanks to James Blunt.

Dedicated to Saarang.