Reality continues to ruin my life

So one week into my brief sojourn in the City of Gardens and I somehow feel I am not living up to the totally wild ride as I expected of this stay. But actually I am not complaining. I've been having a good time. Catching up with friends new, old and ... umm... older. Seeing a plethora of movies new, old and ...ummm... older. (I promise you I had not thought of this uncanny coincidence till I wrote it)

But somehow I think I am not completely satisfied. Although I've like already visited two rather popular "watering holes", which had rocking ambiences - one retro and the other rock, I somehow thought there would be ...ummm.. something more.

The reason I'm umming a lot is that I really don't know how else to put it and/or I'm thinking and writing at the same time and trying to include my thinking process as well. Bear with me. Or don't. Actually please.

Ok. So I read the book Moon and Sixpence and Im convinced now that Somerset Maugham is one of the greatest writers ever. I actually consider him with the same respect as I do Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes, who is without a doubt the most creative person ever. But without meandering from what I was about to say, which was about the aforementioned book that I just read, I will continue. Somehow the book seems to strike a perfect chord with something I was thinking the other day about human beings. (The fact of the matter is that the book deals with so much more and conveys all of it a gazillion times better than I could ever envisage myself doing but for want of a genius I shall strive to maintain the levels of mediocrity that I always do and one day gain enough insight into literary geniuses and their ilk, that I too essay some piece of far-reaching import that people somewhere will get inspired by. Till that day ...umm... bear with me.)

(Rereads last paragraph because so confused now)

What I was thinking about was that human beings do so much , act as they do, practically live their entire lives just to satisfy other peoples' opinions. And a person who actually lives his life for his own self, well "selfish self", is shunned with such ferocity. Which is quite strange. Since it seems meaningless to live a life for anyone except oneself. But then is it a weakness of some kind that normal mortals like say you and me (I'm kind of assuming the reader to be normal; correct me if need be) feel that somehow some of our actions (and inactions) is influenced by how other people think or even may think of us? If it is not a weakness then pray tell me what it is and of what significance can another's views be on my life. And if it is a weakness, does this mean I will grow stronger if I start not caring about what other people think of me?

Well, so much wisdom. And so young a mind. Hmmm. Clearly humility is something I don't care for. Or do I? What would others think of an arrogant Helmet? Or even worse, what if I'm already an egotistic insolent brat whose orotund talk makes him a much hated character... Gee... I read somewhere imagination is the mother of all fuckups...Guess that was right.

Guess thats it. Just like to add that the title is courtesy Bill Watterson...

And I leave you with yet another thought provoking question...

Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

Comments

Anonymous said…
machi sorry da!bear with my following chatarpatar!
opinions --every thing said is an opinion.whether right or wrong..but gives a way.
you came on earth coz your parents decided for it(had common
opinion)..you are
brought up as what your parents think is right..again an opinion.but give
way to your life.when you can decide(i e you reach that age) upon suggestions
(apparent opinions),you are having the freedom to choose your path(mostly).
people do certain things in life..what is their fault if their satisfaction
clashed with somebody else's opinion?after all you dont carry a diary for all
that.
people living "selfish self"cant help other people(is actually the definition of
selfish self),and for themselves too they achieve temporary satisfaction--while
people helping others achieve satisfaction (is actually their personal opinion of goodness).

the funda that "it seems meaningless to live a life for anyone except oneself"
applies to all living beings,then why are humans different,arent they..?

not weakness..just human nature(we all desire..)normally that can lead to some
actions/inactions which are influenced by others.but we have to know how to
limit ourselves.limit ourselves of not imbibing views that can harm us and
imbibing those which benefit us.
......yuck!!i cant put any more psued da--pardon me...by the way tooo many questions and too long sentences to
understand!!
Jah said…
In disagreement to what senti ( who should by the way get an i.d and start blogging ) had to say :
Do you really have an option but to settle down to what this condundrum plots for you ?
If the fittest survives, isnt ego the paramount survival guide ?

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