Whodunnit
After a rather tiring, uninsipring and uninformative, so basically useless, trip to Loyola to attend a seminar after the mock CAT, I first had to put up with a imbecilic call taxi driver who was probably driving for the very first time in Chennai . Nearly a hour after we started, I reached the hostel, all worn out and frutrated (both from the original mock CAT and the somnolent lecture). Straight for the mess for lunch. I left the question paper and the answer key outside the mess, having not evaluated my performance as yet. When I returned, they were gone!!!
Who the fuck will want to steal a question paper? Which idiot would do it rather than just asking someone who wrote the paper? Lunacy...
But then I decided to calm myself. And analyse the situation. Find the culprit. Whodunnit?
My crazy imagination, some added creativity, no commonsense and the kitchen sink later, these were the cases I came up with. Somehow I don't think any of them fit the bill...
The action movie scenario: I, unbeknownst to all my friends and family, am a secret agent working for the counter terrorist unit of the Indian Army. My current operation involved stealing top secret documents involving the illegal activities of TIME institute which sends terrorists into Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Calcutta, etc. so that they learn management of their activites better... Obviously I was found out and their agents tracked me down and retrieved their stuff. Im sure the driver of the call taxi is somehow involved...
The romantic movie scenario: A beautiful nymphlike intellectual goddess of a girl fell in love with me. Somehow. And in an apparent bid to win over my love, she stole the paper. Somehow. And then she informs me she has found the paper and wants to return it to me. . Again, somehow. And the remaining part of the story involves the normal love-story in which we romance for something like 2-3 years, then decide to get married in some arbit "romantic" place, have some N children and live happily ever after. Somehow.
The evil genius movie scenario: Dr. Fumb Duck is carrying out an experiment for which one of the integral components is the paper mache of 5 mock CAT question papers answered by IITians whose name starts with a 'S' and whose nick ends in a 'T'. He sent his trusty evil sidekick, Igor to use a whatchumitecallit to steal the last such paper he desired, mine. Thus, he will use this to complete the Doom's day device which will transform all the people into IITians. The horror, the horror!
The formula movie scenario: A rowdy comes up and taunts me with the paper. By the way he also has kidnapped the heroine, I mean the lovely lady who I met the other day for like 5 seconds before love blossomed in our hearts. So with pseud graphics and unreal stunts, I beat the crap out of the rowdy and his associates and rescue the damsel and the paper. A duet ensues , the location being the snowy slopes of the Swiss Alps...
The IITian RG scenario: One of my IITian "brothers", trying to practise the art of RGing, steals the paper just to improve his skills. He later comes and tells me this and we have a involved discussion regarding tips to finetune one's RG skills. I obviously don't tell him anything correct. RG.
The detective movie scenario: Based on finger prints obtained outside and inside the mess, all the students of the hostel as well as the mess workers are identified as potential suspects. However a piece of lilac string and white hair near the mess proves to be an invaluable clue which the detectives feed into a machine which looks a mixie-grinder but is termed with a scientific name that can rival the biological name of a Kangaroo rat for unintelligibility. And sure enough it spits out the culprit. Apparently the cat ate the paper.
The wizard movie scenario: I am but a muggle, but one with secret untold powers. However, these powers are so immense that once released there is no way I can remain a mere human. The wizards realise that if I were to evaluate my mock CAT, I would realise how badly I had done and in the tantrum that would ensue, I would begin to comprehend my true powers and soon would be powerful enough to take over the world. So they send the once-famous but now-works-only-in-advertisements-and-in-birthday-parties Harry Potter, who with a wave of the hand says Excretus Papyrus or something like that, and the paper vanishes.
Thats about all the scenarios I could think of. What really happened and will happen I cannot say. But I just thought it was really strange for someone to flick a question paper. Strange and dumb. As Einstein said,
Who the fuck will want to steal a question paper? Which idiot would do it rather than just asking someone who wrote the paper? Lunacy...
But then I decided to calm myself. And analyse the situation. Find the culprit. Whodunnit?
My crazy imagination, some added creativity, no commonsense and the kitchen sink later, these were the cases I came up with. Somehow I don't think any of them fit the bill...
The action movie scenario: I, unbeknownst to all my friends and family, am a secret agent working for the counter terrorist unit of the Indian Army. My current operation involved stealing top secret documents involving the illegal activities of TIME institute which sends terrorists into Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Calcutta, etc. so that they learn management of their activites better... Obviously I was found out and their agents tracked me down and retrieved their stuff. Im sure the driver of the call taxi is somehow involved...
The romantic movie scenario: A beautiful nymphlike intellectual goddess of a girl fell in love with me. Somehow. And in an apparent bid to win over my love, she stole the paper. Somehow. And then she informs me she has found the paper and wants to return it to me. . Again, somehow. And the remaining part of the story involves the normal love-story in which we romance for something like 2-3 years, then decide to get married in some arbit "romantic" place, have some N children and live happily ever after. Somehow.
The evil genius movie scenario: Dr. Fumb Duck is carrying out an experiment for which one of the integral components is the paper mache of 5 mock CAT question papers answered by IITians whose name starts with a 'S' and whose nick ends in a 'T'. He sent his trusty evil sidekick, Igor to use a whatchumitecallit to steal the last such paper he desired, mine. Thus, he will use this to complete the Doom's day device which will transform all the people into IITians. The horror, the horror!
The formula movie scenario: A rowdy comes up and taunts me with the paper. By the way he also has kidnapped the heroine, I mean the lovely lady who I met the other day for like 5 seconds before love blossomed in our hearts. So with pseud graphics and unreal stunts, I beat the crap out of the rowdy and his associates and rescue the damsel and the paper. A duet ensues , the location being the snowy slopes of the Swiss Alps...
The IITian RG scenario: One of my IITian "brothers", trying to practise the art of RGing, steals the paper just to improve his skills. He later comes and tells me this and we have a involved discussion regarding tips to finetune one's RG skills. I obviously don't tell him anything correct. RG.
The detective movie scenario: Based on finger prints obtained outside and inside the mess, all the students of the hostel as well as the mess workers are identified as potential suspects. However a piece of lilac string and white hair near the mess proves to be an invaluable clue which the detectives feed into a machine which looks a mixie-grinder but is termed with a scientific name that can rival the biological name of a Kangaroo rat for unintelligibility. And sure enough it spits out the culprit. Apparently the cat ate the paper.
The wizard movie scenario: I am but a muggle, but one with secret untold powers. However, these powers are so immense that once released there is no way I can remain a mere human. The wizards realise that if I were to evaluate my mock CAT, I would realise how badly I had done and in the tantrum that would ensue, I would begin to comprehend my true powers and soon would be powerful enough to take over the world. So they send the once-famous but now-works-only-in-advertisements-and-in-birthday-parties Harry Potter, who with a wave of the hand says Excretus Papyrus or something like that, and the paper vanishes.
Thats about all the scenarios I could think of. What really happened and will happen I cannot say. But I just thought it was really strange for someone to flick a question paper. Strange and dumb. As Einstein said,
How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.Doesnt make too much sense here. But still, Einstein said it. Nothing wrong in reading it.
Comments
seriously, is this creativity the effect of the mock cat or the seminar??
btw u haven't mentioned anything about the costumes for the duet..
green pants and orange shirt for u is it??
And as for your other question, the costumes will be - me in a red and black kimono with a red dragon blowing great balls of golden fire and my babe in a orange, green and blue tshirt; thats it.
PS: Someone get me some creativity restraints...
How do you come up with stuff like this.. Well , it can't be too bad because it had me in fits of laughter , in spite of it's apparent ridiculousness.
Anyway, long time.. How goeth la vie???
curious..
Mr.Fumb Duck contacted me a few days back asking if i am writing MOCK CAT..he was infact looking for ppl whose names begin with S and nicks ending with T...
As you might have guessed, i told him that you were writing...so..:p