Anger Management

Just the other day I was quite taken aback by the sudden outburst from one of my friends, EP, when he retaliated rather forcefully to a friendly kick to the posterior by yours truly. It was surprising to see someone behaving so normally to suddenly snap albeit for a fleeting moment and do something which is not characteristic of their nature.

Lately I have been fighting with people a lot. Sometimes over trivial matters. Sometimes over nontrivial matters. And its frightening 'cause I seem to just lose it for a moment. Anger overwhelming you leads to a feeling of helplessness which is quite difficult to explain because although there probably is a reason which pissed you off, heart of hearts no one wants to be a person with a short fuse. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. I read that somewhere...

"...Anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering..." So well said by Yoda. The problem with anger that for that particular moment it probably seems justified but as it lingers on until consensus is reestablished, it does lead to much pain. But alas, our ego is too dominating to let our hearts rule our body. What could have been solved by some peaceful talking, permeates for days, weeks and, my favourite, months. Agony but Mr Ego says "No idiot, you can never give in. You need not be the bigger man". And alas I yield to this invisible force.

Sometime after the 2nd semester I had a fallout with one of my friends and the result was a extended cold shoulder period of four months. And I was relieved when it ended although rather undramatically. (I literally bumped into him one day as I was going to class and bada bing bada boo... all back to normal ). Currently there is one such uncomfortable situation with a hostelmate which began sometime during the end of last year with a rather sour incident.Then recently I had an awkward period during which I wasnt on talking terms with a close friend which strangely went unnoticed by my other friends. I think. AH yes, there is one more such nontalking situation which but developed yesterday...

What is the best way to end such self-enforced silences? I really don't know. Time heals all wounds? Sounds too contrived. But thats what I always do. Avoid talking until I eventually forget what started it all. Sometimes quake helps too... (:D)

Even after realising that most of the time, the anger leads to unwarrented consequences, it is hard to say it is wrong to be angry. After all, there have been enough movies and articles and whatnot to say that pent up anger is way worse. I guess it is. The making of psychoes and serial killers. And some entertaining movies...

So what is the best cure for anger? Nothing I guess. I think its like the common cold of emotions with no known cures but many a nostrum ... (count to 10...bah humbug). Music is the closest. The soother of the savage beast. So, if there is no cure, what do you do? Well, I guess I could very easily say " Think before you act. Control yourself. Blah Blah Yada Yada". But then it would be the case of the preacher not practising.

Well, a rather philosophical psychoanalytical acroamatic cogitative approach ... a post unbecoming of the bland insipid ravings of the diurnal activites of the one called Helmet...

I shall end on a serene note, based on karmic reflection

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.

If this was an ideal world, I would follow what I just said above. Sadly, it isnt one. Its an egocentric world. Alas.

Comments

Anonymous said…
haven't you probably shown again that you are selfish.that is what pleases you? well n good!
Sneha said…
Hey helmet, I know just what you mean da... Meaning to say that I've been in a situation where one seems to be losing it.. alot! And it is pretty scary when you can't seem to be able to control it! Anyway take courage, time does smoothen things out.. like you so rightly mused..

Oh and I really like the way you have written this post.. Nice flow and all that..

And lastly, I think it's pretty cool that you can look at yourself objectively and try and figure things out rationally... It's something not too many people are capable of..
San said…
@Anon: Yes da. good observation

@Merc: Thanks di...rombe compliments
hey San
Hmm... your analysis is nice... but you don't want to change eh? You know the solution lies in just saying sorry. You know the solution lies in kicking ego on it's smart li'l bum. So.... go do it man

-Mohan
senti said…
hey anon you are stupid and i agree with mohan
San said…
@Mohan: Great advice. Alas if only life were that easy...

@Senti: lol... very smart of you...and thanks

(I should have added
@Anon: very smart of you
but that would have been redundant)
dasan said…
You look very not-so-you when you get angry... And dont get too senti da anon...
San said…
@Dasan: Strangely I find that a compliment...!?!
Sabi said…
Awww, you're being awfully hard on yourself. The emotions you talk about are normal human emotions. You only need to be concerned when these emotions take you to a whole new level. Until then, relax. We all go through similar emotions and we learn how to better deal with them eventually.

My blog's back up, btw :D
EP/ UK said…
I was pretty pissed already when you did that...thats what prompted the outburst that has acted as a catalyst for one of your posts...you ought to be thankful for the rebuttal (no pun intended)...;-)
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